So, we’ve all had at least one time in our lives, that friend that you can’t figure out if they are your friend or foe. The relationship starts as most friendships do. You meet and you hit it off, you exchange information and you strike up a conversation. It could be someone you went to school with, worked with or someone you were introduced to. It could even sometimes be a family member.
Then one day, you could be having a conversation and they throw you some serious shade. A simple comment like you have a nice house but I don’t want a small house like this plus my husband and I want a bigger garage. Or they could clown your ride just out of the blue.
They could tell you often about their grandiose lifestyle and how yours is just so simple in comparison. You don’t know what it is, but every time you are in their presence you just get a nagging feeling. An inkling that they are trying to tell you something, without telling you something. Or sometimes, they just flat out say, they think they are better than you or entitled to something you have. Sometimes, this person feels like your best friend, other times, your worst enemy. You just don’t know where you stand. Well, here are a couple bullets of pragmatic advice to help you navigate the frenemy relationship.
How To Tell If The Relationship Is Frenemy!
1. First, realize that it’s not about you. It’s their insecurity. Their insecurity that makes them lash out at you. They admire something about you that they wish they had. It might be your marriage. Your ability to support yourself, your career, your ability to feel like a million dollars while looking like a hot mess. Whatever it is they wish they had it.
2. Second, know who you are. If you choose to continue relationships such as these maybe because there are some benefits. Or because you have no choice (relatives). Make sure you are comfortable in your own skin.
3. Third, minimize your time with people you consider a frenemy. After a while it becomes taxing and wearing. You become mean like them or your esteem may take a hit. So, limit the amount of time you spend with them
Let me be clear. All relationships go through ebb and flows and sometimes you may have a genuine friend who is going through something and these traits come through. Those friends are just going through an ebb. I’m talking about true frenemies, that come rain or shine, sleet or snow, they just for want of a better word A#$)*&#@. The best thing to do is steer clear but if you can’t just know who you are, realize it’s their insecurity not yours and spend as little time with them as possible.
– Nina Lewis – Kinkless Founder –